THE SONGS
NEWSFLASH! Album now available online!
..the game is worth buying to listen to the awesome songs.
By popular request.
The wait is over. You can now get the official soundtrack for Baron: Fur Is Gonna Fly online.
Spendid!
Music from the Great War era
The Great War has been the inspiration for so many songs.
Some are wonderful morale-boosting ditties, that your milkman might whistle on his morning round. Others tunes celebrate famous air aces -- these are proving popular with the young folk.
Here are some favourites from the world of Baron: Fur Is Gonna Fly.
Please Don't Hit Me With The Ram
Instrumental version
Lyrics
Please Don't Hit Me With The Ram ================================= I don't mind being frozen, or peppered with hot lead I don't even mind an anvil though it gives me a sore head. But, *chorus* Please don't hit me with the Ram Please don't hit me with the Ram It is frightfully mean to bruise my spleen So please don't hit me with the Ram I don't mind some electrocution, Or slipping on banana peel, I'll take a whack from a cannonball That's quite alright I feel. But, *chorus* Please don't hit me with the Ram Please don't hit me with the Ram it makes my cry when I'm sent fly- ing from your dratted ram. You can grab me with your magnet, And smash me -- what great fun! You can cook me up in your flame thrower And roast me till I'm done But, *chorus* Please don't hit me with the Ram Please don't hit me with the Ram It's so unkind to come behind and smash me with your ram I wish you would cease breaking me to pieces with that awful ram.
His Name Is Fluffy Butt
Instrumental version
Lyrics
================ Dog Baron von Flüffe-Botte (aka Fluffy Butt) ================ When a child's lost on a mountain, and the weather's closing in You can always get assistance from the famous Rin Tin Tin But when it comes to aviation you don't want just any mutt There is just one dog to count on and his name is Fluffy Butt ___ {chorus} Lassie's no good at flying airplanes Marmaduke's OK but scared of height You'd never want Old Yeller anywhere near a propeller It's Fluffy Butt you want in any fight. ___ You can take all my Dalmations throw in Lady and the Tramp, I'll even give you Beethoven but you'll never have my champ And there's the sad deluded Snoopy on his kennel roof he's found he pretends that he's a famous Ace, but he's never left the ground ___ {chorus} Lassie's no good at flying airplanes Marley and Winn-Dixie and the rest None of them I've found, once their wheels lift of the ground are half as good as Fluffy - he's the best ___ While other dogs keep busy digging deep and pointless holes Fluffy Butt's out training to perfect his barrel rolls A normal dog's impressive if it sits and shakes your hand But Fluffy has a thousand hours as Pilot-In-Command ___ {chorus} Lassie's no good at flying airplanes Hooch is keen but slobbers way too much Bolt is good in movies but can't do it in real life It's Fluffy Butt you'd go to in the clutch ___ Some dogs like to chase their tail or jump through silly hoops But Fluffy Butt prefers to do some daring loop-the-loops The smartest dog who shows off with a hundred clever tricks, still struggles with the subtleties of aerodynamics ___ {chorus} Lassie's no good at flying airplanes Marmaduke's Ok but not too high You'd never want old Yeller anywhere near a propeller It's Fluffy Butt you want up in the sky It's Fluffy Butt you want up in the sky
Kittens Are Cute
Instrumental version
Lyrics
Kittens are cute Kittens are cute They're bouncy and pouncy, and really a hoot Kittens are cute Kittens are cute except when they're on your tail preparing to shoot! Kittens are fun Kittens are fun They're cuddly and fluffy, and cute when they run Kittens are fun Kittens are fun Except when they're diving on you firing their gun! Kittens are gay Kittens are gay They frolick and rollick, they're always at play Kittens are gay Kittens are gay But meet one in the sky, it will ruin your day!
The Patriotic Mouse
Instrumental version
Lyrics
================ Patriotic Mouse (A march) ================ ...a song about duty. { music for 1 stanza , then} Miss Stilton loves the library devouring books all day - When troubles start she checks the papers this is what they say: ___ {chorus} Your King and country need you now to take your life and risk it oh join up laddie that's the chap, defend our cheese and biscuits {repeat w/ just music} ___ Miss Stilton has no second thoughts this mouse was brought up dutiful In truth she'd rather stay home 'cos her house is very beautiful She packs her kit and says farewell and leaves her life behind she does not know if she'll return but says she doesn't mind. ___ {chorus} (Be)cause Her King and country asked her now to take her life and risk it oh join up lassie that's the girl, defend our cheese and biscuits {repeat w/ just music} ___ Things start off well but sadly there's a problem that's no trifle. She does not pass the training 'cos she cannot lift her rifle. 'We're grateful for your interest but in bigness you're deficient An office job might suit you, that's where you'd be more efficient.'' ___ {chorus} 'But My King and country wanted me to take my life and risk it - come join the big adventure and defend their cheese and biscuits' {repeat w/ just music} ___ An aircraft zooms low over but it does not make her nervous -- Instead with whiskers twitching she decides to join the service. She purposefully marches in and says 'Can I please try? Just strap me to some cushions then I'm sure that I could fly' ___ {chorus} For her King and country asked this mouse to take her life and risk it so now she's flying way up high defending cheese and biscuits Yes her King and country asked this mouse to take her life and risk it Now Captain Stilton's way up high defending cheese and biscuits
Nobody Likes the Snake
Instrumental version
Lyrics
Snake The Monocle Song {before} As he cruised up high above the clouds he pondered the disparity between his exploits in the sky and his lowly popularity But that's the way it always was, it left a scar that lingers when he went to tally up his friends he could count them on his fingers ___ {Chorus} Nobody liked the snake, nobody liked his style nobody liked his fangs Nobody liked his smile In games of hide and seek they'd accidentally lose him When kids were picking teams, nobody would ever choose him ___ Sporty, smart and friendly too If there's a box he'd tick it Debating club, a singing group, and excellent at cricket People couldn't fault him, they'd respect him from afar Yet nobody would came too close despite his char~is~ma ___ {Chorus} Nobody liked the snake nobody found him funny The way he flicked his tongue, and slithered on his tummy Nobody liked to talk to him, they weren't sure if he had ears The disturbing way he looked at them would stoke their darkest fears ___ Now that he is fully grown, his social life's in crisis folks who are not used to it don't appreciate ecdysis his Insta posts get zero likes his twitter's seldom followed creatures when they think of him just imagine being swallowed ___ because {Chorus} Nobody likes the snake His eyes seem insincere his little jokes fall flat His small talk causes fear People don't like his scaly skin They don't trust his brumation It's most unlikely one day he'd be shower'd with adulation ___ {banter} { spoken section, over the top of verse melody } A: Marketing says we need to make the snake 40% more likeable. Ideas, quickly! B: Um, we could give him a hat? A: (disapproving, unenthusiastic about idea) Hmmmmmm. B: and a cane? A: But how to hold it? B: Maybe a fedora? A: Ha-ha-ha! ... seriously though, we need to make him likeable. B: We could give him glasses. A: Yes yes, but the lack of ears! You see the problem. Think man! B: What about a monocle? Ant: Yes... Yes! Do it! {snake gets a monocle} Both: *gasp!* By Jove! Great Scott! Gads! Kim/Sophie lean in: Who's that? What a dish! ___ {Chorus} Everybody loves the snake let's raise a glass and cheer him For the first time in his life creatures wanna hang out near him Let's hear it for the snake People say he's alright When players wanna have some fun He's the first one they invite Everybody loves the snake he's gone from rags to riches his remarks make people squeal his jokes have them in stitches Everybody loves the snake Everybody wants to choose him Little kids start to cry, If they're told that they can't use him
When (Girl) Pigs Fly
Instrumental version
Lyrics
================ Pig ================ When (Girl) Pigs Fly If you make a joke about a pig that flies ... She's heard it all a thousand times ^be fore^ Don't be wounded if you see her roll her eyes Please don't tell her she'd be pretty if she ^smiled more^ 'Cos she never listened to the people who insisted that she would be better in the safety of a tidy little home - leave adventure and the danger to the creatures that were built to take it, that of course means creatures with an X Y chromosome. If you think that it's a scandal such a pretty little snout would be exposed to all the dangers of a battle in the sky 'n' that a fragile little piggy in a dainty little apron would eschew domestic duties for a chance to learn to fly Then perhaps you have forgotten that she's free to live her life and that she doesn't need approval from someone she doesn't know - She'd prefer to do her thing without the comments from the sidelines that would only serve to put their speaker's prejudice on show. Cos she knows that it is easy to get lost if you forget a- bout the moment when you realised how you want to spend your day 'n' start to think you should be reasonable and give up what you love be- cause you start to give a pork about what other people say. And she knows that life is great if you can live a life of purpose So she doesn't give a pork about ~ ^ what ~ you ~ say ^ She remembers life is precious and it ends before you know it so she doesn't give a flying pork ~ ^ what ~ you ~ say ^ Yes she knows that life is precious and it's all too quickly over and that's why she does request if you can please stop talking now be- cause she doesn't give a single actual flying pork about o- pinions that are so important you just ^ have ~ to ~ say ^
Small Things
Instrumental version
Lyrics
Small Things ============ Good things - come in small packages Small packages contain good things. Small packages are often pretty special - Diamonds... Gold rings Small things - you may not see me there I'm not hiding it's just I don't draw much attention, my tiny features don't catch your eye, too small to mention {Chorus} So while you're lumpin' 'round all heavy and inflated Small things are happy under ~ estimated Stayin' out of sight is the best way to stay alive Big things, they feed a whole family, so Tasty, and good to eat. Small things are cartilage, gristle and bony... no meat Big things, they're makin' such a juicy big target It almost seems a bit of a shame that You're tryin' to hit the side of a barn they're so easy to aim at. {Chorus} Big things are struttin' round thinking they're almighty Small things are hidden till they're ready to go bit-ey, Waitin' 'til you're certain is the very best strategy {Chorus} Always choose small if you get a chance to choose it Size doesn't matter if you know how to use it Small things are better and the best small thing is me!
Henry the Flying Bear
Instrumental version
Lyrics
Henry the Flying Bear ===================== Say old chum, look way up high What do you see up there? It's a rickety kite that can hardly gain height Yet somehow remains in the air So many pounds in an airplane How do the wings not snap? When it comes back to land, come shake his big hand and you'll find a splendid chap. ___ (chorus) It's Henry the flying bear Soaring gracefully through the air Surprisingly light, he's great in a fight It's Henry the flying bear ___ You mustn't go on at how heavy he is there's no need to be unkind When the action gets hot, and you're in a tight spot He's the best friend you could find. Don't point out his massive waistline it's a sensitive point, my friend, For as long as his girth can lift off the earth he'll stay with you to the end. ___ (chorus) It's Henry the flying bear Soaring gracefully through the air. A dependable chap, he's great in a scrap Don't take to the sky without this great guy He's a wonderful sport, he'll give great support It's Henry the flying bear ___ {key change} (chorus) It's Henry the flying bear ... Soaring gracefully through the air. Surprisingly light, he's great in a fight A dependable chap, he's great in a scrap Don't take to the sky without this great guy It's Henry the flying bear
I Can Do That
Instrumental version
Lyrics
================ Duck ================ { narrator } An ad in the paper invites him to join the nation's Flying Corps. 'Preference is given to those who can show they've flown a bit before.' ___ { Duck } {CHORUS} 'Well I can do that, I think you will see Flying will be simple for me Here let me show you, I'm sure you'll agree I do it naturally ___ 'You warn about danger, but lookin' up there I really don't see why Things look much safer up in the air 'Cos foxes cannot fly. ___ {CHORUS} 'Well I can do that, don't say any more, it looks so quacking fun! If you can just make that front spinny thing spin, I'll show you how it's done. ___ 'And forget about flappin', my least favourite bit 'cos here's the major perk. You're tellin' that I can sit and relax the machine does all the work. ____ {CHORUS} 'Well I can do that, I'll show you right now I'm gonna be the best - If you can just show me those buttons again, Then I can do the rest. {CHORUS rpt} 'Yeah I can do that, get outta my way Sit back and watch the show - You'll want me to teach you the things I can do, once you help me make it go.' {cackle}
Cartoon Animal
Instrumental version
Lyrics
============== Cartoon Animal ============== You're a cartoon animal x 4 So just remember when you fall that it doesn't really matter at all You're a cartoon animal x 4 So don't be livid, if you should die just get back into the aircraft and fly You're a cartoon animal x 4 Don't throw controllers or punch the wall Because it doesn't really matter at all You're a cartoon animal x 4 But do remember, if you should fall. That you could always pull the power at the wall.